If you're thinking of starting up your own development studio, don't do it.
Well, unless you fancy whoring yourself out like a slightly chubby street prostitute on the streets of Kiev, that is.
"I was recently at Casual Connect in Kiev, and I went to the bar everyone hangs out in when they're there," opened Christopher Natsuume, co-founder Boomzap Entertainment, during an indie panel at this year's Game Connection Europe in Paris.
"Of course, because this bar was in the Ukraine, when it hit 9pm suddenly all these girls came in 'looking for business', and I was watching one of these girls she was slightly chubbier, slightly uglier than all the others as she circled the bar.
"She was going up to every single guy in that bar and getting knocked back, and I suddenly realised something - that's me. I go to conventions, and I try to sell myself to publishers, but compared to the big guys there, I'm just as unattractive and unappealing as that Ukrainian prostitute."
Chewing the fat
Though played for laughs, Natsuume's anecdote wasn't without significant merit. "Publishers are just like those men who were turning her down," he continued.
"You go up to publishers, you show them your game and you say 'tell me I'm beautiful, tell me I'm beautiful! But a publisher will never tell you 'no'. Instead, they'll always say 'oh, that's interesting, we'll get back to you.'
"And just like that, this prostitute had to compose herself and remove herself from the situation with dignity and move onto the next guy.
"She had to paint her smile back on and move on."
The panel in action, Gril and Natsuume on the far right
This, Natsuume argued, is the hard, cold reality of independent development.
"This is the life of an independent developer, and if you're not up for that, then get out," he added.
Indeed, even if you have success and you build up your team, you may also find out you're not doing the job you want to.
"I have game developers doing what I'd like to do so I can go out and sell at conventions like this so I can get them more work that I'd like to do," he continued. "It'll break your heart."
Death of the publisher
Juan Gril of Joju Games agreed, adding that any publishing deals he's scored have been signed off "because they know me."
"I don't get those deals because I've spent 30 minutes or so convincing someone at Game Connection to work with me."
Even the publishers at these conventions often aren't the real deal, he continued.
"If a publisher wants you to make a game but they won't give you money up front, then they're not a publisher," he added. "They're a distributor. That's all. The kids these days are using the language differently there are only a few publishers still out there working in the traditional way."
For Natsuume, it's all about companies these days being unwilling to take risks.
"I want the person who is selling my game to take the financial loss if they fail to sell it," he added, suggesting without risk, there's no real reason for the publisher to get behind it.
"It's because I want them to give a fuck. Most of these 'distributors' don't care if you live or die, basically.
"I've had two meetings today where people have said 'we want to see you soft launch these games, and if the metrics are good, we want to get behind you'. Well, of course you do! They're just not willing to take the risks we want them to."