As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."
This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer... who now has a YouTube channel.
- Current Games
1) James Bond: World of Espionage (Glu Mobile)
Having started over thanks to my shifting allegiance to my Nexus 9 over my iPad Mini, I've found that you make a lot more progress in this game if you don't bother trying to get all the intel from every mission.
This probably means I'm ignoring certain bonus aspects of the game in favour of speed running it, but to be totally frank, I don't care. I've only got so much time. Let's finish this.
Oh, and you'll be pleased to know that my agent this time around is a generic white guy, so there'll be no more of that cognitive dissonance I was experiencing.
2) Farm Away! (Futureplay)
Farm Away! is not currently available on Android, and so my farm has been left to its own devices for a week as I completely forgot it existed.
Booted it up today and was still miles away from unlocking that final plot. I sighed deeply, then harvested my crops for lack of anything else to do.
My crops are now worth so much money, it's plain silly. Maybe now I can finally achieve my goal…
3) Sniper X (Glu Mobile)
Similar story to James Bond: WoE here. Starting over has actually been quite fun, and I've blasted through it relatively quickly. Statham has stopped comparing me to his grandmother as well, which is nice.
4) Beatniks (Harmonix)
This remains untouched on my Android tablet, so Miles (my Beatnik) is probably dead by now on the iPad. I don't want to check. I can't even begin to imagine the horror that is decomposing jazz.
5) Bakery Story 2 (Storm8 Studios)
As you can tell from the video below, I still cannot get past the old man eating cakes with just a fork.
Starting over has been remarkably easy on this game, and I feel like I'm catching up quite quickly to where I was before. Does that mean I didn't put enough time in on the iPad? Probably.
6) Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector (Hit-Point)
I went on a date and took my iPad with me to show off Neko Atsume, and it turned out that the girl I was with had already downloaded the game, so we spent some time sharing our cat pictures.
Still no closer to unlocking the indoor area. The person standing in the garden waiting for cats to show up must be freezing.
7) Hello Kitty: World of Friendship (Assorted Nuts)
Another one that has not yet made the leap to Android. I will get back to this at some point, because it is actually quite pleasant to play, but for now, Hello Kitty remains devoid of friends.
8) Real Boxing 2: CREED (Vivid Games)
A change in tech solved the freezing problem perfectly. Now Sly Stallone is free to looking at me with his cold, dead eyes while I learn all about hugging my opponent before beating the life out of them.
You can only take part in three activities, be that fights or training, before the energy meter runs out and you have to wait. Seems a bit stingy to me, but I'm not so engrossed that it feels like I'm being torn away from the game.
9) Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (EA)
Just unlocked Dark Side Battles. Compared to my well-equipped and levelled up Light Side characters, the new squad feels rather underwhelming, but killing Ewoks is fun.
10) BRICKCRASH (Gree)
I'm still really enjoying this. It's pretty silly, and very loud and garish, but overall it's a surprisingly fun little Breakout clone.
Still can't remember the game it's obviously taking inspiration from. I think Pac-Man was in it? Ah, who cares.
11) Super Dangerous Dungeons (Jussi Simpanen)
I'm still terrible at this. Video evidence below.
12) Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft (Blizzard)
Haven't played as much of this as I first thought I would. Perhaps I need to spend more time building decks and working on tactics before I go back in. Or just playing the practice mode.
Yeah, practicing would probably be the best first step.
- New Installs
1) Episode – Choose Your Story (Pocket Gems)
I see a lot of ads for this on Tumblr (yes, I use Tumblr, welcome to the 21st century). Then one day, a video I was writing up contained one of the people who worked on the game. And finally, I saw it featured on the Google Play store.
As a creator of choose-your-own-adventure games, it's always nice to play others and see what they're doing differently. In Episode's case, it's introducing major IP in the form of Mean Girls.
I've seen Mean Girls precisely once in my life, but thanks to Tumblr, have relived it numerous times. And now I'm living my own version of it. And you can see the existential hell that has thrown me into below.
2) FIFA 16: Ultimate Team (EA)
On me head son! Back of the net! Referee! Etc etc.
This is actually a surprisingly passable version of FIFA, though playing with the YouTube Gaming app absolutely destroys the framerate, so I'm not sure I'll be recording myself sarcastically revelling in my "unbelievable tekkers" much.
1) Dustland (Gumbug)
Remember when I said this wouldn't survive? Well, it didn't. "Water is effective against fire" indeed.
2) Chromatic Souls (Gamevil)
No but seriously, what on Earth is a chromatic soul? The game won't tell me, so it's gone.
- Installed: 2
- Uninstalled: 2
- In Play: 14
- Spending: $0.00
- To-date 2015 'Life Time' Value: $0.00
Keep up with what the Promiscuous Gamer is playing by subscribing to his YouTube channel.