Promiscuous Gamer

The Promiscuous Gamer goes all CGG, shuffling Galaxy of Heroes, BattleHand and MMA Federation

The Promiscuous Gamer goes all CGG, shuffling Galaxy of Heroes, BattleHand and MMA Federation

As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."

This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer... who now has a YouTube channel.

Current Games

1. Farm Away! (Futureplay)
[Spend to date: $4.99]

Having decided to harvest my meagre crops from last week and start over, I appear to be making headway once again here. I've unlocked two new crops, which, while I'm sure make no actual difference, seem to be increasing my profits.

That said, my interest in the game has started rapidly waning. I keep going back to it because it's just so darn easy to get stuck in the core loop, but at the same time, I don't know if I'm actually enjoying it anymore.

2. Sniper X (Glu Mobile)

Took a break from Statham this week. I'm sure he understands.

3. Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector (Hit-Point)

I've become something of an expert at this game now, dishing out advice to people over Twitter whether they want it or not. They will learn. I am the cat whisperer.

Another rush of gold fish helped push me to the point of unlocking a makeover for my house, which now resembles the kind of modern chic nightmare that Patrick Bateman would strive for.

4. Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (EA)

First time in a long while that I haven't fired this up at all in a week. I'm not bored of it, I don't think, but with other games popping up I just haven't had the time.

5. Brickcrash (GREE)

Remember how last week I was scared I was going to absolutely blitz through this game and have nothing left of it to play? Oh, how wrong I was.

As evidenced below, taking time off from playing a skill-based game means that one loses a certain amount of that skill and, in short, I'm absolutely awful at it now.

6. Episode – Choose Your Story (Pocket Gems)

So like, I had my debate with Regina George, and she like, totally pulled a dirty trick and showed everyone a picture of me ruining her life a few years ago, and I'm all like, oh right yeah whoops, and then I lost the election for Student Council President and now I'm never going to Yale and my life is over and I just want to die in a tub of Ben & Jerry's!!!

7. Rune Story (COLOPL)

Left this to the wayside this week. Not entirely sure why, to be honest, I just kind of forgot it existed.

8. Katy Perry Pop (Glu Mobile)

I can tell you exactly why I haven't played this – I don't really want to. I'm leaving it on here for now, but I can't say for sure how much longer it's going to survive.

9. Dashy Crashy (Dumpling Design)

My garage is coming along quite nicely, which has been helped by lucking out and getting a fast, high-tier car early on.

Took a break from Statham this week. I'm sure he understands.

It's now possible for me to clear the first two ranks in less than ten seconds, although I often then completely obliterate my car by lightly clipping a Jeep.

10. Tap My Katamari (BANDAI NAMCO)

Tap My Katamari does an excellent job of making you feel like you're moving forward, when really you're not actually making any kind of real progress.

I've unlocked and levelled up what feels like a hundred cousins, and pushed my tap power up into the billions, but the whole thing scales against you so rapidly that you're practically running on the spot.

Still, it's fairly engaging for such a simple game, and I keep going back to it, so it must be doing something right.

11. BattleHand (Kongregate)

Started making a bit of progress here. There's now elemental concerns to contend with, as well as card levelling, which is all very Galaxy of Heroes.

I don't think I'm very good at it, mind you. I barely scrape by getting three stars in each scenario, and usually need to heal a few times just to get by. Might be time to rethink my deck.

12. Candy Crush Jelly Saga (King)

Haven't heard from my mum about this yet. She probably forgot to play it.

I progressed a couple of levels to unlock the new versus mode against an AI Jelly Queen, but found the whole thing so infuriatingly difficult that I had to invent some new, stronger words to express my anger.

New Installs

1. Pocket Mortys (Adult Swim)

I was quietly optimistic about this game. A Pokémon clone based on one of the best cartoon series ever, by a company who I've found to be clever with their free-to-play design? Deal.

Now, I don't want to say that the monetisation here is "evil", per se, but it's well… evil. You can only heal your Mortys for free in the hub world, and when you enter a new dimension to actually do battle, you can't leave until you've defeated the boss of the area.

Which is all well and good, until your entire party gets destroyed in the first fight, then runs out of ability points in the second, by which point you won't have earned enough cash to buy items to restore either HP or AP, and you're, for want of a better word, screwed.

Also the game doesn't really take advantage of the license as much as it could. It's all very… tame. No swearing or mature content, which is weird since that's the main draw of the show.

2. MMA Federation (360 Studios)

This one's a little bit interesting. A turn-based card-battler with real-world MMA ties, you take turns attacking and defending, trying to second guess what your opponent will do based on a limited move set.

I'm awful at it, naturally, though my mix of boxing and muay thai fighting styles may have something to do with that. I'm a pugilist at heart, but you do need to know how to sweep the leg to get anywhere in this world.

Uninstalled

1. Bakery Story 2 (Storm8)

I can't even pretend to be interested in this game anymore. It sent me a notification this morning that had an emoji in it. No. Go away.

2. Beatniks (Harmonix)

There's only so many times I can listen to Summer by Opal Puckett and think, "wait, why don't I just spend 99c and buy it online without having to play Beatniks at the same time?"

Weekly recap

Installed: 2
Uninstalled: 2
In Play: 14
Spending: $0.00
To-date 2016 'Life Time' Value: $0.00

Keep up with what the Promiscuous Gamer is playing by subscribing to his YouTube channel.

Deputy Editor

Ric has written for PocketGamer.biz for as long as he can remember, and is now Deputy Editor. He likes trains.

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