Promiscuous Gamer

The Promiscuous Gamer becomes besties with Kendall & Kylie and takes part in a Game of Drones

The Promiscuous Gamer becomes besties with Kendall & Kylie and takes part in a Game of Drones

As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."

This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer... who now has a YouTube channel.

Current Games

1. Farm Away! (Futureplay)
(Spend to date: $4.99)

Still running two farms on two different devices. My Android farm has just about caught up to the production levels of my iOS farm, however, so I may retire the latter soon.

What this also means is that I'm inevitably headed back to the cap that was holding me back on iOS, which was only saved by me starting the game all over again on a different system.

Could this be the end of my time with Farm Away!? Only time will tell.

2. Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (EA)

Making a little more progress here now that I've shifted focus away from simply levelling up, and am now collecting shards to promote my characters. I now have a level 4 Asajj Ventress, which means basically nothing to me, but she has almost 2000 power, so that's nice.

No real campaign progress, however, though I have now unlocked the Galactic War mode which is soaking up far too much of my time. Particularly when you consider that I don't even make use of the rewards.

3. Brickcrash (GREE)

Forgot this existed. Also it is so hard.

4. Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector (Hit-Point)

The last girl I introduced to Neko Atsume is now claiming that I must be hacking, because I have collected more rare cats than her. A frankly ludicrous statement made by someone out of clear jealousy.

My toy collection has grown rather impressive. I've nearly bought all the silver fish items, and have branched out into gold fish items to draw in more rares, thanks to Pocket Gamer's guide on the items needed to get them. The catbook is filling up nicely as a result.

There is, of course, a picture of my cats below.

5. Episode – Choose Your Story (Pocket Gems)

Kind of abandoned this one for a while, but it's fun to write about here, so I just fired it up for a quick game.

The Mean Girls story has taken a turn for the ridiculous, and made a very awkward joke about a girl groping another girl designed to make pre-teens who don't understand sexuality giggle, so I tried something else.

The "Campus Crush" story sees you starting your first day at college, and after choosing one of a number of white, middle-class, female names, your character says "OMG!", after which, if you're like me, you'll throw your tablet to the other side of the room and finish writing this article.

6. Katy Perry Pop (Glu Mobile)

Falling in and out of this game quite regularly. Sometimes I can pick it up and easily slip into the gameplay loop, rapidly run out of energy, and then go back to it later.

But most of the time I just look at the icon and think, "why am I doing this to myself?"

One of my new installs will most likely replace this fairly quickly anyway, but it can stay on my tablet a little longer so long as it doesn't start causing trouble.

7. Tap My Katamari (BANDAI NAMCO)

I am so close to being level 600 and being able to trade my Katamari for a star. So close. But also so, so, so far. Bandai Namco are definitely teasing me at this point.

My frequency with returning to the game has dropped significantly too. It used to be that I would jump in once a day to give myself a little boost along, but at the minute it can be several days before I look in on the Prince. I wonder if he misses me.

8. Vainglory (Super Evil Megacorp)

Oh dear lord. Vainglory. The obsession came back hard.

Part of the metagame involves you winning three games in a 24-hour period to earn more Glory, the game's soft currency that you use to permanently unlock heroes. But, because I'm terrible, that means I'm playing nearly six or seven matches before I can satisfy the condition.

I've also been flitting between characters recently, trying out new playstyles. I'm normally a sniper, so Skye has become a favourite when she's on the free rotation, but because everyone else takes Ringo before I can I have become incredibly adept as a Catherine player.

However, I'm also facing an increasing number of people hammering the question mark marker at me whenever I'm avoiding getting into a fight I know I'll lose because I'm busy levelling up. I guess people are just idiots.

9. Pridefest (Atari)

Haven't touched this lately. Leaving it on there, because it's still a neat idea that I'm very much behind, but my priorities lie elsewhere lately.

10. Pirate Power (GodziLab)

Given I tend to think of my iPad as my Neko Atsume device, I've forgotten Pirate Power exists. Will probably get back to it later.

11. World Chef (Social Point)

Mark Brown of Pocket Gamer made an excellent point that customers in your restaurant just sit looking up at you, never breaking eye contact, never blinking, as they wait for you to deliver their food. You are a Food God, it seems.

Food God or not, these people aren't getting their food particularly quickly, as it apparently takes 20 minutes for my Italian chef to make a bruschetta. I think she needs sacking.

New Games

1. Kendall & Kylie (Glu Mobile)

I scoffed a little [laughed loudly - Ed] when I saw that Jon had made a FTUE video for this. Despite the fact he enjoyed Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, surely the fact that he had to Google who the Jenners were was a sure sign that he wouldn't like this new one.

I, however, absolutely love it. And I also don't know who the Jenners are really. All I know is that this blows Katy Perry Pop out of the water, simplifying the gameplay right back to the Kim Kardashian days and introducing a cleaner UI than has been present in any Glu celebrity game.

Plus, it appeals to me greatly through its condoning of promiscuity, which allows me to go on a hundred first dates and reap huge benefits. That scores highly in the Promiscuous Gamer rankings.

2. Alto's Adventure (Snowman)

I have been playing Alto's Adventure for a long time now on various iOS devices, and recently it hit Android as well, except this time it was a free-to-play title. So now I can play it and class it as work.

Given my experience with the game, I've already blasted through the first ten challenge sets, and now have access to my usual character, who backflips faster than Alto, allowing me to pull off even sweeter moves than ever before.

I love this game so much.

3. Futurama: Game of Drones (Wooga)

I'd been interested in this since it popped up in our Soft Launch list, so jumped straight on it when it finally launched. It's an interesting twist on the match-3 genre, by which I mean it's actually a match-4 and you have to play in hexagonal grids rather than square grids.

That also makes it incredibly hard compared to most match-3s, as you need to rethink your entire approach and consider all the different shapes you can make to create a group of 4 drones. Good fun though.

4. Color Switch (David Reichelt)

Color Switch has certainly captured the hearts and minds of everyone who reads PG.biz, so I figured I'd give it a go. It's alright. Twitch platforming was never my thing (I hated Flappy Bird with a firey passion) but this at least tries something new.

Not sure how long I'll stick with it. Frustration and me don't go together very well.

Uninstalled

1. MMA Federation (360 Studios)

Couldn't get into it. Decent enough game though.

2. Cartoon Wars 3 (Gamevil)

After receiving about a hundred notifications telling me to come back, I finally decided to tell Cartoon Wars 3 to stick it.

3. Battlehand (Kongregate)

It seems like a really good game, I just can't get into it.

4. Bleach: Brave Souls (KLabGames)

Tried to give this the fair shake I said I would. Loaded it up. Had to download about a million things again. Got rid.

5. Digimon Heroes (Bandai Namco)

Just not my scene, really.

Weekly recap

Installed: 4
Uninstalled: 5
In Play: 15
Spending: $0.00
To-date 2016 'Life Time' Value: $0.00

Keep up with what the Promiscuous Gamer is playing by subscribing to his YouTube channel.

Deputy Editor

Ric has written for PocketGamer.biz for as long as he can remember, and is now Deputy Editor. He likes trains.

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