Promiscuous Gamer

The Promiscuous Gamer returns, and he's infatuated with Farm Away

This guy will play anything if it's free

The Promiscuous Gamer returns, and he's infatuated with Farm Away

As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."

This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer...

1. COLOPL Rune Story (COLOPL)

Was quite looking forward to this, all told. Cute graphics, action-RPG gameplay, got a nice write-up by our IAP Inspector… but it just won't load for some reason.

After downloading the app, you have to download additional data, which is fine. Except, for me, every time I get to 100% downloaded, the app crashes.

Kept trying to download it for a week or so. No dice. Not a good start to the world of promiscuous gaming.

2. James Bond: World of Espionage (Glu Mobile)

"You should play that James Bond game," Jon told me when we were talking over this reboot. "You'll probably hate it. But you won't have to play it for long because you'll run out of energy straight away."

He's not wrong.

A couple of things weird me out about this game. The first is Ralph Fienne's piercing, solemn stare I have to endure whenever I do something that earns "duty" (I have yet to work out what this actually affects.) The second is that my loading screen always pauses on 69%.

Given the general male power fantasy vibe the rest of the game has, this isn't actually too surprising.

3. Sniper X (Glu Mobile)

I had to play a Glu-made sniper game once before in the form of Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation and wasn't particularly enamoured with the experience. Didn't think I'd really enjoy Sniper X on that basis alone.

It's actually pretty good. Made it to the third area with only a small amount of grinding for cash and nearly 100%-ing every area so far. I can already tell that I'll need to start seriously grinding or stump up some real cash soon, however.

Still, there's little in this world more satisfying than hearing Jason Statham swearing like a sailor every time you shoot an explosive barrel. That man gets very excited about death and guns, it appears.

4. The Walking Dead: No Man's Land (Next Games)

I watched half an episode of The Walking Dead once with a girl I was trying to impress at the time. Outside of that, I have no frame of reference for how accurate this is to the TV show.

It's a good game though. I like that you're never forced to pause mid-mission for any energy reason or what have you. The difficulty has rocketed up as I started the second chapter, however. I imagine Joel's probably going to die. Not looking forward to that day.

Still, at least Daryl has finally gone. Never liked him.

5. Pocket Trains (NimbleBit)

This one was just for me, to ease the burden of having to play so many games. It's not that great. You can watch the trains roll down the tracks and collect coins and "bux" (the hard currency) as you do so, but mostly I'm just leaving them to it.

6. Farm Away! (Futureplay)

My addiction to Farm Away! is very real.

So real in fact that I just took ten minutes out of writing about it to go and play it.

I can't see any long-term point to the game. Ultimately you're just gathering as much cash as you can to then acquire more cash, a system one could bypass entirely by just leaving the game alone for a few days and coming back to it.

But I can't help but sit back and watch as my hundreds of carrots generate billions of coins in just a matter of minutes, before swiping it all up and literally reaping the rewards.

7. Beneath The Lighthouse (Nitrome)

It's almost tempting to pay for the infinite lives on this one. Almost. But not quite. Not put a lot of time into this because of how tricky it is, but the adorable look of it does keep me wondering if I should sink back into it.

8. Blossom Blast Saga (King)

Never really played a Saga game before, but I figured it was time to break that. This one's quite cute, and taps into a very primal part of the psyche that is overjoyed by lots of things exploding at once in big, glorious ways.

That said, I'm only a few levels in and the difficulty has already ramped up in a bid to make me buy IAPs. No need to be quite so blatant about it, is there, King?

9. BeatNiks (Harmonix)

After tracking this in our Soft Launch for a while, I was excited to see it launch unexpectedly one day. Downloaded it on the day but didn't get round to starting it up until today. Then I was greeted with a data download bar.

I'll see if this is going to be a repeat of COLOPL Rune Story next week.

Weekly recap

Installed: 9

Uninstalled: 0

In Play: 9

Spending: $0.00

To-date 2015 'Life Time' Value: $0.00


Ric is the Editor of, having started out as a Staff Writer on the site back in 2015. He received an honourable mention in both the MCV and Develop 30 Under 30 lists in 2016 and refuses to let anyone forget about it.