As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."
This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer... who now has a YouTube channel.
1. Farm Away! (Futureplay)
(Spend to date: $4.99)
I'm now running two farms on separate devices. One on iOS, one on Android. I can quit any time, you know.
I have unlocked the monkey in the new update, but have thus far not decapitated it once yet. Probably not going to do that, if I'm honest. I think I'll just stick with my Android farm instead, and save the animal murder for later down the line.
2. Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector (Hit-Point)
No new converts to the way of the Neko this week, sadly. The person I brought over to the cat side last week has been showing me her progress and claiming she is better than me at this game, which is without a doubt impossible.
At a loss for any kind of goal, I have decided to purchase absolutely every item in the store. It would probably make more sense to try and complete my cat book, and grab pictures of every cat in the game, but that would require far more effort than I'm willing to give to anything.
Obligatory cat photo below.
3. Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (EA)
Still just grinding the metagame here. Actual progress in any campaign seems to be basically impossible, particularly if you want to do it properly and earn 3 stars for each level, so I'm just trying to level up a bit first to make it easier.
Also, I have so many sim tickets it's getting ridiculous. Got to use them up, right?
4. Brickcrash (GREE)
Haven’t played this week. Too scared of failure.
5. Episode – Choose Your Story (Pocket Gems)
Right, we've stopped dancing around the issue now, and my character is definitely interested in Micah. This is not acceptable. Have you spoken to Micah? He is scum. The lowest of the low. Jettison him into space.
Honestly, for a game that's about choosing my own story, Episode is doing a very good job of forcing a romance on me that I distinctly do not want.
There must be other boys at this school. Or even girls! Though I'm not sure a Mean Girls setting has the maturity to deal with a lesbian relationship.
6. Katy Perry Pop (Glu Mobile)
It's the notifications from Katy Perry Pop that annoy me the most. Little messages telling me that my BFF Katy Perry is missing me, more messages about how the world has forgotten who I am.
It kind of makes me not want to go back, just to see how desperate my new BFF really gets.
7. Tap My Katamari (BANDAI NAMCO)
Someone commented on one of my recent Tap My Katamari videos saying that they'd have given up by the point I have reached. Well, sir, clearly I am made of sterner stuff.
That said, progress is beginning to slow significantly, despite levelling up my cousins to the point of insanity. There are so many of the critters and they're all hugely beefed up, yet they barely help. Lazy sods.
8. BattleHand (Kongregate)
Haven’t played at all. Strongly considering dropping it, if I'm honest. Not really my scene.
9. MMA Federation (360 Studios)
Still not enjoying this very much, so I haven't touched it. I'm not sure why, though. There's several good ideas to play with, but it just isn't grabbing me in any way.
Perhaps because I don't like MMA? That would make the most sense.
10. Vainglory (Super Evil Megacorp)
Stepped back on my Vainglory obsession a little this week, mostly because I've been too busy to get any matches in.
But with the new update out (Chinese New Year), which apparently "balances" a few characters, which supposedly nerfs Kestrel's early game and therefore making my return to her less appealing, I'll get back to it soon to see what the changes do to the game.
11. Bleach: Brave Souls (KLabGames)
I'm willing to give anything a fair shake, but having been stung by the long download time when I first booted the game, I still haven't started playing this yet. If I don't get round to it by the end of next week, I'll drop it.
12. Pridefest (Atari)
Haven't really checked this out much this week, but you can check the super short video below to see me crash my mayor into a small fence. I thought this was my city? Why can't I go anywhere I want?
13. Cartoon Wars 3 (Gamevil)
Do I really want to go back and try and remember what the tutorials glossed over? Not really. Will pick this up again soon, but this week it's just collecting digital dust.
14. Pirate Power (GodziLab)
You know what annoys me most about pirate games? You're always some kind of "good" pirate. You never attack innocent people or defenceless traders. Not very pirate-y, really.
Either way, Pirate Power continues to be enjoyable to play. Not too much of a grind, with a silly story that's holding my interest. I just blew up a giant crab who talked entirely in capital letters. Because that's what crabs do.
15. World Chef (Social Point)
Despite my initial misgivings, World Chef is actually relatively enjoyable. It's definitely not just Bakery Story 2, so sorry for making that comparison. It has a little bit more involvement than that.
That said, the video you see below is the only time I've played it this week, but now that I know I won't be getting angry at old men for eating cookies with a fork every week, I might start getting into it more seriously.
1. Digimon Heroes (Bandai Namco)
Ah. Whoops. This was actually released last week, and it completely passed me by. Which is pretty bad when you consider that I'm the one who's supposed to be tracking it in Soft Launch.
Anyway, I had a quick bash at it earlier, and it's… incredibly confusing. The tutorial doesn't do much to help out either, given it immediately throws you into a battle with no context and no explanation of what a Digimon even is.
Sure, there was an opening cutscene, but who watches those these days? Either way, this is definitely not one for someone who hasn't watched Digimon since they were a child.
1. Dashy Crashy (Dumpling Design)
This isn't uninstalled, per se, but I won't be tracking it here anymore. It's too casual for this column really, and, aside from when I get bored on particularly long train journeys, I'm not really dipping into it that often.
No hard feelings though, and I would definitely recommend that you give it a go.
In Play: 16
To-date 2016 'Life Time' Value: $0.00
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