Go computer AlphaGo relaxes by becoming the #1 Clash Royale player in the world

Go computer AlphaGo relaxes by becoming the #1 Clash Royale player in the world

[Update: Obviously this article is an April Fool's.

Following its success against Go grandmaster Lee Sedol, Google's AlphaGo artificial intelligence has been relaxing by destroying human opponents at another pastime. can exclusively reveal that - playing under an assumed name - AlphaGo has been playing Supercell's card MOBA Clash Royale.

But not just playing, but winning and winning big.

Deep thought

Bringing its immense tactical thinking to bear, AlphaGo has ripped a swathe through top ranking Clash Royale players, with more than one of them blaming their repeated defeats on "chinese hackers".

The real reason is much more prosaic, however. AlphaGo doesn't even break into a figurative computer sweat.

"Think about it. There are 10**170 legal positions that can be played on a Go board," commented his creator, crazy computer scientist Dennis Isitaliviss.

"That's an enormous number of possibilities. In comparison, Clash Royale is a piece of piss. AlphaGo has already simulated every single game of Clash Royale that can ever be played... twice."

Very naughty AlphaGo

"I lost my job to a computer," commented ex-bank clerk and one-time top German Clash Royale player Herman Gonewrong.

"And now, a computer's taken away my one enjoyable leisure activity. I'm off to walk the dog in the rain."

Rumours that AlphaGo had hacked into its creator's Google Wallet, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on IAPs to max out every Clash Royale card have yet to be confirmed.

However, Isitaliviss' neighbour said they recently overhead a heated conversation about "effing parental controls" and "no more screen time for a month".


American author and journalist Normal Mainer was born in Ketchum, Idaho. He's written widely about the computer games industry, although in a manner often described as being "hesitant, disorganized, and confused". He won the IMGA's Best Game Journalist Award Ever for the fifth time in 2012.


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