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The Mobile Gaming Mavens on their New Year's Resolutions

No XVGA jokes, we promise
The Mobile Gaming Mavens on their New Year's Resolutions

The Mobile Mavens are our panel of experts drawn from all sectors of the mobile gaming industry.

They have talked about serious issues throughout 2011; addressing OnLive's launch, what Rovio should do next, Kindle Fire's potential, Nokia and Microsoft, and HTML5...

Our final question was; What's your New Year's resolution?

Ustwo's eccentric overlord and CHIEF WONKA mills(tm) continued talking about his studio's Whale Trail game.

"My resolution is to create a new heart-warming paid iOS moisty that sells more than Whale Trail's current 126,509 copies..." he said.

"I'm going to spend £1,000,000 on making games that make humans who appreciate great things 'moist', but don't sell to the average Joe."'s editor Jon Jordan took issue with mills' downbeat mood.

"Whatever happened to succailure?" he asked, referring to mills' conflation of the words success and failure. "My resolution is to buy mills and ustwo some more capital letters."

Keith Andrew, also of, was quick to get in on the act, saying "He used them all up on CHIEF WONKA."

Four of the best

Andrew's own resolution was defiantly materialistic; "I'm going to convince Nokia to send me scores of Lumia 800s for free."

Christopher Kassulke of HandyGames was jealous. "Scores of? I still don't have a single one. It seems they need all of them for a Xmas sale." The Nokia and Microsoft representatives in the Mavens were, perhaps wisely, silent on this.

Kassulke's own resolutions are simple; "1. Just world domination for HandyGames. 2. Another year with a multiple of 20 of our ad-inventory. 3. More time for the best thing in the world; my family. 4. Help the economy by drinking even more beer and consuming more games."

Bolt Creative's Dave Castelnuovo said; "I intend to learn when to keep my mouth shut".

Don't be quiet

Castelnuovo's propensity to speak truth to power has landed him in hot water more than once in the past, but the Mavens didn't want him to change. He reassured them; "Oh, don't worry, these are New Year's resolutions we're talking about. I'm sure I'll piss off more than a few people in 2012."

The rest of the resolutions were a mixed bunch. Joony Koo of Lustancia was pissed off about fire engines outside his window, obsessed with the cute hotel maid he sees every day from his office window, and wanted to retire to the Caribbean after making billions of dollars.

He also wanted Android developers to use the Apprank app, which shows the global Android market on your device and to partner with "great people in the mobile space".

Thinking big

Machineworks' Andreas Vahsen just wanted everyone else to be happy. "I want them to do well enough so they can buy disgustingly materialistic things... as a reward for their dedications, business acumen and rolling with the punches."

Thomas Nielsen of Progressive Media was terse; "Easy. Cache in. Work less."

We think he means cash, while Florian Stronk of Konami had the mildest ambition we've encountered; "Use Twitter or Facebook for group messaging."

Finally, Wen Chen of Coconut Island was going to get every single Chinese person to buy his next game, One Tap Hero. Now that's ambition...