Promiscuous Gamer

The Promiscuous Gamer goes to Pridefest, starts a Cartoon War, and won't shut up about Vainglory, Vainglory, Vainglory...

The Promiscuous Gamer goes to Pridefest, starts a Cartoon War, and won't shut up about Vainglory, Vainglory, Vainglory...

As game executive Bing Gordon famously put it (about) in 2010, "This is the most promiscuous app audience in the history of mankind."

This is the diary of a (brand new) promiscuous gamer... who now has a YouTube channel.

Current Games

1. Farm Away! (Futureplay)
(Spend to date: $4.99)

Looks like Futureplay quietly released the Android version of this last week, when I was busy at Pocket Gamer Connects London 2016 and unable to play games. It's a good as excuse as any to get back into the game and see if I can find the fun again.

There's a Chinese New Year update to boot, so that means new plots that I'll never unlock thanks to a gloriously unfair sticker collection system, and I think maybe a monkey to decapitate and sell at market?

This is a weird game.

2. Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector (Hit-Point)

After a long spell of not getting anyone new to play Neko Atsume, I've finally managed to persuade another person to join in. They hate me now.

Haven't bought my cats anything new in a while as I'm just jumping in every now and then to harvest my rewards. But here's a picture of them anyway, the darn cuties.

3. Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (EA)

I've hit a point where I need to level up my characters more, but don't have enough credits to do so. Tons of training droids, though.

[Ed comment - please check this video to maximise your credits...]

As such, actual progress has slowed to a crawl, so I'm just completing activities and simming everything repeatedly to get better gear.

Oh, and I just discovered the shipments bar of the Cantina Battles, so now I might actually make some progress towards unlocking new characters.

4. Brickcrash (GREE)

I am legitimately the worst at this game, and it makes me so angry.

Made it through a couple of levels, but now there's instant death blocks that need to be avoided, and I don't think I can take it anymore.

5. Episode – Choose Your Story (Pocket Gems)

I can't even remember what's going on here anymore. Micah probably said something a little shady, and I probably took it the wrong way, and despite my best efforts the game still wants us to be together.

I might try a different story next week. Mean Girls isn't really doing much for me.

6. Katy Perry Pop (Glu Mobile)

Somehow fell back into a routine with this. Still not actually enjoying it, but it's simple enough to play if you ignore all the extraneous nonsense it tries to throw your way.

Plus you can only play for about three minutes before having to wait half an hour to play again, so it doesn't take much time out of my day.

7. Dashy Crashy (Dumpling Design)

Haven't really played this at all lately. Coincidentally, I'm getting very excited about playing OutRun 2 again some time.

8. Tap My Katamari (BANDAI NAMCO)

I have made so much progress in this that it's slightly worrying. Still nowhere near level 100, or even levelling my Katamari up to a point where I can trade it in, but I'm impressed with how well I'm sticking with the game.

I now have several abilities that I just run all at the same time, just to annoy anyone watching my videos who thinks I should be rationing them or something.

9. BattleHand (Kongregate)

Not hugely being drawn in with this - possibly just too many elements for me to get truly invested, and the gameplay isn't fast enough to keep play sessions short enough for me.

Honestly, ever since I took over this column, my attention span has dropped dramatically. It's actually kind of worrying.

10. MMA Federation (360 Studios)

Despite my initial interest, I've not really immersed myself in MMA Federation much. It's not that I don't enjoy the game, it's just that I always think that play sessions are going to be too long for me, and so I avoid starting it up.

New Installs

1. Vainglory (Super Evil Megacorp)

So. Much. Vainglory.

It's entirely possible you've already read my piece about Vainglory, and if you haven't, you might as well go do that now. I'm not going to repeat myself. Go on. Off you go.

I've bought two characters, so I'm one shy of the required number to unlock ranked matches, but I should be able to afford my third by the time I hit the required level anyway.

Here's a low quality video of me playing a game of Vainglory as a character I don't know how to use. Check the comments for tips from a kind person who commented twice to offer me advice.

2. Bleach: Brave Souls (KLabGames)

Installed? Yes. Played? No. I loaded it up to do a video, and then had to wait a good half hour while the rest of the game installed. Thanks, KLab.

3. Pridefest (Atari)

This is a difficult one to approach, really. On the one hand, a game focused on the LGBTQ community is nothing but a good thing in my eyes, and one where they're seen as powerful and right is always nice to have in games.

Sadly, it's all wrapped up in a slightly mediocre city-builder/puzzle game, so maybe they're saying that members of the LGBTQ community can have their games, but only if they're a bit rubbish?

Still, I'm going to stick with it a while longer. If only so I can run over straight people some more. It's weirdly satisfying.

4. Cartoon Wars 3 (Gamevil)

If you like being assaulted by menus that don't make much sense, good news! Cartoon Wars 3 has them in droves, and a tutorial that breezes you straight past them so you don't know what you're doing.

It's a tower defence game where the tower is kind of useless and you can (as far as I can tell) endlessly spam units to attack your opponent, rather than bothering with "tactics". Sun Tzu? More like Sun Who.

5. Pirate Power (GodziLab)

It may be an iOS title, which means I can't make amazing videos about it like everything else, but this is actually a pretty engaging little game. Not something I foresee myself losing my life to, but it's pretty gentle with monetization and actually quite fun to play.

6. World Chef (Social Point)

Me: This is just Bakery Story 2 again, isn't it?
The Game: You can only buy six bags of flour right now, wait two minutes for us to restock!
Me: Why have I done this to myself again?

Uninstalled

1. Sniper X (Glu Mobile)

I walk away from the battlefield, rifle slung over my shoulder. "Get back 'ere, Snipah!" yells Statham over the comm. I remove the earpiece. No more violence.

2. Candy Crush Jelly Saga (King)

Even my mother hasn't touched this.

3. Pocket Mortys (Adult Swim)

Remember when I said the monetization in this was basically evil? Well, I want no part of it. Gone.

4. Rune Story (COLOPL)

I just can't get back into it. Good game, no hard feelings COLOPL, but I just don't have the time for an RPG.

Weekly recap

Installed: 6
Uninstalled: 4
In Play: 16
Spending: $0.00
To-date 2016 'Life Time' Value: $0.00

Keep up with what the Promiscuous Gamer is playing by subscribing to his YouTube channel.

Deputy Editor

Ric has written for PocketGamer.biz for as long as he can remember, and is now Deputy Editor. He likes trains.

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